Chapter Text
~~~Moxxie 🟩 🌊~~~
Moxxie shifts awake, seeing the green walls surrounding him.
…he knew it. It was all a dream.
Blitzø and Millie never rescued him…
He never escaped his father…
But…they were still alive.
Alessio…
Crimson…
Did he want them alive?
He shouldn't, right?
“Moxxie?”
He gets up out of bed and he's suddenly downstairs. “Dad?”
Crimson isn't anywhere to be seen…he only hears him: “You turned your back on your family…”
“What?”
“You think you get to walk away from this family and never come back?”
Moxxie shakes his head. “No- I- please, Sir, I-”
He takes a step forward into a puddle…
A…
The room…
It was flooding!
Filling up with water.
“Sir?” Moxxie asks, backing up but it doesn't do anything. “Dad?”
“ You should have listened…”
The water in the room rises more, reaching Moxxie's neck. “No- please, wait!”
“This is what happens… Moxxie.”
“Please, sir!”
“This is what happens when you cross me.”
The water rises more, and Moxxie tries to hold his breath…
But he can't.
He's drowning.
He's going to die!
He'll never see Millie again.
He-
“Quiet time.”
~~~~~
Moxxie gasps for air as he sits up quickly….
He looks around…
He's home! Thank Satan.
He turns next to him at his Millie who's sleeping peacefully.
He smiles and runs his fingers through her hair.
He’s okay…
His father is dead.
He can't hurt him anymore.
It's okay.
He was going to be just fine…
He was.
Wasn't he?
~~~Moxxie, the next morning.~~~
He couldn't get back to sleep, so he decided he might as well get up.
He cleaned the house as quietly as possible,he read for a bit and then made some breakfast for himself and Millie.
Suddenly he hears Millie walk into the kitchen “Good morning, sweetie.”
“Morning.” Moxxie says, flipping the pancakes in front of him.
“You already started breakfast?’ Millie asks him.
“Uh, yeah. I got up a bit earlier today.” He says, looking only at the stove.
“Moxxie…what time did you get up?” She asks.
Moxxie shrugs. “Just…early.”
Millie tilts her head to look at his face, noticing the bags under his eyes. “You had another nightmare last night, didn't you?” She asks.
Moxxie doesn't answer.
“Mox?” Millie pulls him away from the stove to look him in the eye.
“It's going to burn.” Moxxie complains.
“It's fine.” She says. “Just answer my question, please?”
Moxxie sighs. “Yes, I had another nightmare. But it's not a big deal.” He says. “It's just one of those things….you know?”
Millie nods. “Okay.” She lets him go and leaves to grab her phone.
Moxxie sighs. “Millie, what are you doing?”
“I'm calling your therapist.” She says.
“That's not necessary.” He says. “The doctors aren't forcing me to go anymore.”
“Well, what do you want me to do?” Millie asks.
“Leave it be?” He suggests. “I have nightmares. It's not a big deal. Everyone gets them sometimes.”
“Not everyone has nightmares so severe that they can't sleep every night.” Millie says. “It's been a few weeks, clearly there's something more to it.” She says.
“Not necessarily.” He mumbles.
Millie makes the call. “Hello I'd like to schedule an appointment for my husband…Moxxie Knolasname.”
“Millie-”
She holds up a finger. “Yeah, 8:00 is perfect. Thank you.”
She hangs up the phone. “Okay, got you booked for tomorrow.”
“I don't need another session!” Moxxie says. “I'm fine!”
“If you're still having nightmares, you do.” She says. “It's okay to ask for help, Mox.”
Moxxie sighs. She doesn't get it. “I had nightmares when I lived with Blitzø, it's not a big deal.”
“Just because you got over it the first time does not mean it's okay now.” She says. “Di- Did you have nightmares while you were…with your dad?” She asks, hesitantly.
Moxxie shrugs. “When I was asleep, I was regressed. So if I did, I wouldn't remember anyway.”
Millie nods.
“Millie, she won't help, she'll just ask me the same dumb questions and then suggest I keep doing what I'm already doing.” He complains.
“You don't know that.” Millie says.
“...yeah, I kinda do.” He says.
“Well, do you have any other ideas?” She asks.
Moxxie shrugs. “I guess not.”
“Then you're going.” Millie tells him.
He didn't bother continuing to argue.
~~~Moxxie: Therapy:~~~~
“Have you been taking your medication as prescribed?”
“Yes.”
“Both your anxiety medication antidepressants?”
Moxxie nods. “Yes.”
“Any negative side effects?” She asks.
“I don't know…”
“Have you been trying those exercises we talked about?” She asks.
“Yes, every day.” He answers.
“And it hasn't helped with the nightmares at all?” She asks him.
Moxxie shakes his head. “No.”
“You're still getting them? Every night?” She asks.
“Only when I sleep.” He mumbles.
She hums. “Strange.”
“I told you, I have nightmares after I see my father. It's normal. It just takes a few months to get them to stop.”
“That's not…normal, hun.” She says.
“Well, he's dead now…so once they stop I'll be fine.” He says.
She tilts her head. “How do you feel about your father's death?”
Moxxie looks at her. “I don't know…I'm glad I won't have to deal with him anymore.” He says.
She nods. “I'm sensing some sadness. It's okay to be upset, you know? He was your father after all.” She says.
“I'm not upset.” He lies. “I mean- I didn't want him to die…but he deserved it. And I am glad I won't have to worry.”
That was at least honest.
She nods. “Okay. And how about your little self? Does he miss his father?”
Moxxie's eyes widened. “I- uhm.”
She patiently waits. “Well?”
“I don't know…my little self doesn't know.” Moxxie says.
“How can he not know?” She asks.
“There's a barrier.” He explains. “I don't remember anything from when I'm small, and he doesn't remember anything when I'm big.”
She hums. “You know what? Maybe you should get yourself reclassified.” She suggests. “You can get a therapist that specializes in little ones, I know this one girl named Hellen, she's so nice, I think she could really help. She could truly understand your situation.”
Moxxie leans back in the chair. Little ones? Could she possibly be more degrading?
“A little therapist would have a better understanding of your situation.” She says.
“I doubt that very much.” Moxxie says. “All they'll do is tell me to regress.”
“Well…maybe you should regress then.” She suggests.
“I can't.” Moxxie says.
“Why not?” She asks.
“Because it would ruin everything I've worked so hard for! If I regress, all the problems regarding my little self will come back, it's better if it's locked away.”
“You've built a wall.” She says. “Or more so, your father did. But in order to get better…you need to break that wall. Let people in, let all that pent up anger and sadness out.”
“I have no anger.” Moxxie insists. “I'm fine.”
“If that were true, you wouldn't keep dreaming about him.” She says. “You wouldn't be here.”
Moxxie tried to think of something to say…
“Our time is up.” She says. “I'm not sure there's much else I can do for you, Moxxie. Without ripping off the bandaid and tending to what's underneath…how are you ever expected to heal?” She asks him.
So…He'll never heal.
Was that really so bad?
Moxxie walked out and into the waiting room where Millie was, smiling sympathetically.
He immediately hugs her. “Hey.”
“Hey, how did it go?” She asks.
Moxxie looks down, fidgeting a little with her hand. “She wants me to see a different therapist.”
“What? But I thought you said she was nice.”
“She was…she wants me to get reclassified so I can see a therapist who specializes with littles.” He explains. “So, I guess she's not going to help anymore.”
Millie hums.
“What?” Moxxie asks.
“I mean, maybe that's not the worst idea?” Millie suggests. “You are a little, so a little therapist might be what you need.”
Moxxie sighs.
“Mox, listen, please? I would never force you to do anything you don't want to do but…would you at least consider it? I mean, if it helps other people to regress, it may help you.”
Moxxie was about to say something else but he stopped himself.
“I just…I don't know what else to do.” she says. “I want to help you, be the best partner I can be…but I don't know how. Letting you suffer isn't good enough for me, and nothing else seems to be working so…will you please just give someone the chance to help you?”
Moxxie interrupts. “I'll think about it…but I promise nothing.” He says.
Millie nods. “Alright.” She takes his hand. “Let's go home.”
